Funny Pilot

A Pilot was welcoming the passengers on the plane shortly after take off........

"Thank you for flying with us this morning.

The weather is....."

Then suddenly he starts screaming while he is still on the loud speakers:

"Oh my God. OMG! OMG! This is going to hurt....Its burning"

A ghostly Silence reigned!

He gets back on the microphone talking to the passengers:

"I sincerely apologise for the incident but I just dropped a very hot cup of coffee on my lap...you should see my pants."

One passenger replies -

"Why don't you come here and see Our PANTS"!😄😄

Funny Quiz#1

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

 

 

Let's find out just how clever you really are .

 

Ready?

GO!!! (Scroll down)

Question 1 :

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

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-Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up in the next question.

To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.

 

Question 2 :

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?!

 

You're not very good at this! Are you?

 

Question 3 :

Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

 

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

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Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?

 

Question 4 :

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Tana, 2. Tene, 3. Tini, 4. Tono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? 

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Answer: Tunu?

NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again

Okay, now the bonus round . . .

 

Question 5 :

There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
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He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

 

KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE "SMART PEOPLE" IN YOUR LIFE.

dont get Tensed 😜😝
😄😁😃😌😀😂😆😋Congratulations for the people who Answered correctly..

Kids Joke#1


Husband & Wife Joke#2


Husband & Wife Joke#1

25 years of married life - NOT A SINGLE CONFLICT!!!  Thanks to an amazing wife !!

Recently in Bangalore a couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary...

They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their 25 years of married life. Media gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their "happy going marriage".

TV corespondent was very curious to know the secret and asked the husband:

"Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? "

Husband: "We are a happy couple since marriage, thanks to our honeymoon trip to Shimla."

TV: "Sir, tell us about it so that all couples can also be happy like you."

Finally husband agreed to reveal the 'secret of the happy marriage'.

"For our honeymoon" recalling his old honeymoon days husband said, "We had been to Shimla (a hill station). The day after we both went for a horse ride. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one. On the way that horse jumped up suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time".

She again got on the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again was calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.

When the horse dropped her a third time, she just took out a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead !!

I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?

She gave a silent look and said: 'This is your first time!!!' 

That's it. We are happy ever after...